Donald Trump Told America That He Is Well-Endowed

"What a time to be alive!"

Donald Trump, Normal-Handed Man — REUTERS
Mar 03, 2016 at 10:56 PM ET

About seven minutes into Thursday’s GOP debate, Donald Trump, GOP frontrunner, reassured America that he’s well endowed. What a time to be alive!

“He hit my hands. I’ve never heard of this one, look at those hands,” Donald Trump said, referring to taunts from Marco Rubio (who, in truth, has been attacking Trump for having teensy paws on the trail). “Look at these hands, are they small hands?” Trump asked.

But Trump, who’s finger-length was first questioned in 1988, wasn’t finished making his point. “And, he referred to my hands—if they’re small, something else might small,” stated the man who hopes to lead the free world. And then it happened. “I guarantee you, there’s no problem.” What a time to be alive!

Trump’s comments came just hours after he made a speech denouncing Mitt Romney, in which Trump said that Romney would have “dropped to his knees” for Trump’s endorsement during the 2012 election.

Unsurprisingly, Google searches for the term “Trump penis” skyrocketed after Trump’s remarks. (Slightly more surprising, the search term first started climbing right after Trump declared his candidacy.)

The jokes, the disbelief, the groaning was soon heard internet-wide. What a time to be alive!