Coldplay To Play Super Bowl Halftime Show, Fans Despair

As news leaked that Coldplay will perform at the 50th Super Bowl, people took to Twitter to express their extreme disappointment in a terrible decision made by a sports organization that suppressed research about players’ brain damage and protected players who abused their spouses.

And if you thought that was grim, wait until you read these tweets.

Some tweets blamed Janet Jackson and her wardrobe malfunction, which drove the NFL to choose acts that posed less of a FCC violation.

Some felt Coldplay was too boring or British for America’s most-watched event.

Many questioned the NFL’s judgement.

And some thought the decision might lead to a spike in suicides.

Well, that got dark fast.