Barry Switzer Owned A Bunch Of Trump Reporters

Cold world

Ownage in progress — AFP/Getty Images
Dec 22, 2016 at 1:36 PM ET

Like Bobby Valentine before him, former Dallas Cowboys and University of Oklahoma head coach Barry Switzer will not be named to a plum government gig, but that didn’t stop him from trolling the hell out of reporters.

On December 7, Switzer, a Trump backer who held fundraisers and did some behind-the-scenes work to set Trump up with one of the many pro-fracking petrobarons that want to turn the planet into a smoldering husk, was enjoying the sights, sounds, and retail delights that New York City has to offer.

While in the Big Apple, Switzer spied the Naked Cowboy outside the Trump Tower, and he surmised it’d be a swell time to duck his head in, regardless of the fact that the building was swarming with reporters desperate for even a semblance of a scoop.

In retrospect, it seems pretty clear that Switzer was only funning, but if we’ve learned nothing else over the last 18 months, it’s that no amount of surreal, terrifying craziness should be dismissed out of hand. (We’ll get there in a sec.)

Via Politico:

“All the media people said, ‘Coach what are you doing here,’” Switzer said in an interview. “I told them I was here to see the president like everyone else.”

Switzer said he instead went upstairs in Trump Tower, bought a coffee at Starbucks and came back downstairs.

“I told the reporters I had a great visit, and that we were going to make the wishbone great again,” he said. “I told them I was going to be Secretary of Offense and that Trump knew how to run the ball down the field.”

“Then I went back to my hotel and laughed my ass off,” he said, still laughing this week. “It went everywhere. Everyone believed it. I had all these calls, but I was just jerking people around.”

Good one, Coach. It’s good to laugh and we should all continue to do so right up until the moment that the mad clown-child kills us all.