Manny Pacquiao Loves The Bible So Much He Might Marry It

Seriously, check out his latest proposition for the people of the Philippines

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Dec 08, 2016 at 12:51 PM ET

In between Manny Pacquaio’s on-again, off-again boxing career, dotted with hints that he’ll snag one last monster payday for the privilege of letting Floyd Mayweather Jr. toy with him, the faded boxing icon isn’t shirking his responsibilities as a senator and is hard at work getting some very important legislation in the Philippines passed.

To wit, paperwork has been submitted for Senate Bill No. 1270. What is Senate Bill No. 1270?

“As a predominantly Christian nation and the largest Christian nation in the Asia Pacific, this Act recognizes the value of the Holy Bible as the core of Christian faith,” the bill states. “The last Monday of January and every year thereafter is hereby declared as a ‘National Bible Day Act’ and proclaim the same as a national holiday.”

According to Senator Pacquaio, a 93 percent Christian nation requires the addition of another national holiday to a roster that already includes time off for Christmas, All-Saints’ Day, Good Friday, Maundy Thursday, and Black Saturday, plus a slew of regional celebrations of the Christian faith.

“The core of Christian belief is grounded on the Holy Bible. Sermons and homilies of Christian churches dwell in the teachings of the Bible,” he said in support of the bill. “It is the primary source of spiritual manna. It forms and transforms lives of people from generations to generations. It serves as the foundation of spiritual, moral, and social fiber, which molds a socially responsible citizenry and strong nation building.”

Meanwhile, across the country, police and vigilante mobs have murdered hundreds of their fellow Filipinos, inspired by President Rodrigo Duterte’s inauguration day proclamation: “If you know of any addicts, go ahead and kill them yourself as getting their parents to do it would be too painful.”

Senator Pacquaio is also a bigot and a good chunk of his bigotry stems from his particular flavor of Christianity. “Do you see animals mating with the same sex? Animals are better because they can distinguish male from female,” he said prior to securing his seat in the senate. “If men mate with men and women mate with women, they are worse than animals.”

For the record and in case Senator Pacquaio happens to take a peek at this blog, there are plenty of species in the animal kingdom that engage in homosexual acts. Anyway, when the ensuing firestorm caused Nike to end its sponsorship agreement with Pacquiao, he issued a mealy-mouthed apology, but not before firing off an Instagram post quoting a Bible verse which calls for the murder of gay men and women. He deleted the post two hours later after it had already racked up over 18,000 likes.

But Senator Pacquiao’s desire for another nice day where workers won’t have to trudge to the office is one of his more benign acts as an elected official. In 2012, he voted against a bill that would have provided poor, rural Filipinos expanded access to contraception and safe sex education, ascribing his no vote to his pro-life stance and a sixth-round knockout loss to Juan Manuel Márquez. “What happened in Vegas strengthened my already firm belief in the sanctity of life,” he said.

Hopefully, with Senator Pacquiao’s backing, Senate Bill No. 1270 will become a law. The last Monday of January 2017 lands three days after the inauguration, when many people will be sorely in need a long weekend.