Everything Wrong With Gay Marriage Opponents In One Epic News Clip

Oct 17, 2014 at 5:27 PM ET

As gay and lesbian couples in Idaho began to legally exchange vows for the first time this week, one local news affiliate marked the historic moment by devoting its top story to what has to be America’s most cartoonishly anti-homosexual family. Ace correspondent Deni Hawkins bravely reported the segment after husband-and-wife mouth breathers Justin and Melanie Sease contacted the KBOI-TV station to lash out against gay marriage. 

“There are two sides to this story…” Hawkins wrote in a post to her 613 Facebook fans on Wednesday, adding ellipses for dramatic effect. “And today, I got to tell the one we haven’t told until now.”

In her hard-hitting segment “Fighting Back,” Hawkins introduces viewers to the Seases, the Red States’ newest brand ambassadors for subliterate intolerance, and offers the couple a platform to get their important message out. They are devout Christians living in suburban Meridian, Idaho’s third largest city. A hardworking high school graduate, Justin drives a milk truck for a local dairy. Melanie raises their four daughters at home, where a well-worn copy of the Bible is proudly displayed on the coffee table.

Both Seases are partial to T-shirts emblazoned with the American flag, and they love to talk about their God-given disdain for homosexuality.

“We can never accept public homosexuality,” Justin stoically announces from his couch while his wife practices her best catatonic stare. “The Bible says that when homosexuality is publicly accepted, that basically it spreads like a cancer.” 

Eager to stop the sickness before it metastasizes, the Seases have taken a very public stand against same-sex marriage—and they lead the news crew outside their house to prove it. Scrawled across the family’s lime-green Chevy and battered truck are such thought-provoking maxims as: “Just say no to gay marriage,” “God’s not dead” and (painted in red, white and blue) “Homosexuality is a sin & a abomination.”

“This one at the high school over there really offends people,” Melanie says, though its unclear whether students object to the message or the mangled grammar.

Justin says most people in town give a thumbs-up or honk when they see the family’s cars, but he admits that not everyone is crazy about the messages. “We have a few homosexual extremists that cuss us out and get very angry with us and threaten us,” he says.

But he refuses to let a few crackpots distract him from his mission. “This is kind of our little way of protesting the homosexual extremist movement,” Justin says.

It’s all part of their master plan. “Hopefully, other people will join us and follow us and do what we’re doing,” Melanie says.

Deni Hawkins concludes her segment on a subtly wistful note. “The Seases say that this ruling leaves no place in society for their family,” she says. “But they do say that no matter what happens, from here they will put their faith and trust in God to move forward.”

And in his infinite wisdom, God apparently decided to really put that faith through its paces this week. Following the news segment, Melanie posted on the couple’s Facebook page: “My husband lost his job…because of what he had written on his personal vehicle.”

But judging from the hearty battle cry she posted a few minutes later, it hasn’t weakened her resolve: “Defeat the homosexual extremist on Nov. 4th. Vote Conservative Republican!!! Support the NRA!!!”