FUN

Just in Time for the Ferguson Verdicts: DIY Riot Gear

Nov 21, 2014 at 12:17 PM ET

If you didn’t grow up in a politically unstable Third World country, you may not know how to whip up your own riot gear from scratch.

Luckily, you can turn to the Internet for instructions on how to build a nightstick-proof ensemble that would make Martha Stewart proud. Below is a step-by-step guide from WikiHow that provides not only an easy recipe for body armor, but also a few tips on how to neutralize those pesky gas attacks.

Handsome and protective, right? And you don’t need to be part of a militarized police force to get your hands on a beauty like this. It can be yours with just a few pieces of scrap metal and whatever old belts you have lying around the house.

Oh, and you may want to stop by your local sporting goods store for some discount catcher’s shin guards.

Remember when you’re building your rubber bullet-proof armbands to size them properly to your body. You know what they say: “Measure twice, cut once.”

It’s also much easier to prevent tear-gas red eye than you might think. Just remember to pack a pair of safety googles. It’s a commonsense shortcut that could save you a whole lot of crying later.

Did you know that dipping a banana in some vinegar and attaching it to your face can help you breathe in a cloud of police-fired fumes? Amazing!

Oh, and, boys, don’t forget one of these.