APPLE

This $24 Candle Allegedly Smells Like A New Mac

But you don't really want that anyway, do you?

APPLE
Twelve South
Oct 04, 2016 at 3:08 PM ET

You can now enjoy the contradictory scent of consumerist minimalism thanks to a candle called New Mac. Even though the $24 candle is currently out of stock (and is dumb), its existence is proof that our obsession with Apple products has reached an all-time high. Or that we’re being trolled mercilessly by its maker.

The candle doesn’t exactly align with Apple’s manufacturing values. For starters, it’s hand poured in (presumably) pleasant conditions in Charleston, South Carolina, whereas your Mac is made in inhumane conditions in a factory in Shenzhen, China.

The candle is 100 percent soy wax, arguably better for you and the environment because it’s made from environmentally-friendly vegetable oil. Your Mac products are considerably less sustainable. The New Mac candle claims to burn for 45 to 55 hours, whereas your Mac’s battery life only gets four to seven hours of runtime on a good day. (To be fair, the latter is rechargeable.)

While these may sound like reasons to buy the candle over any Apple product ever again, what this really boils down to is the scent itself, which is impossible to test out over the internet, and probably just as impossible to mimic. TwelveSouth, the tech accessories company who is selling the candle, describes it as notes of mint, peach, basil, lavender, mandarin, and sage, none of which remotely conjures the smell of fresh plastic product, Apple or otherwise.

Still, if surveying the loot of your troubling devotion to Mac products is not enough for you and you really need to get that faux Mac scent to hover over it, the site claims more supply will be available later this month. But if you really wanted to craft a candle out of something nostalgic and lovely, that would at least be the sweet plastic-y smell of fresh cassette tapes, or maybe old books.