America, Please. It’s Not Called St. Patty’s Day

And it never has to be again, thanks to our "Kill St. Patty" Chrome Extension

(Illustration: Tara Jacoby)
Mar 14, 2016 at 4:21 PM ET

St. Patrick’s Day is Ireland’s national holiday, celebrated back in the homeland on March 17, and abroad on the nearest convenient drinking day. And while America’s green-beer binge day gets messy, and plays into a negative stereotype, it’s ultimately fine—enjoy the revelry. But there’s one thing no true Irish person can celebrate, or even tolerate.

Calling it “St. Patty’s Day.”

It may seem like an inconsequential thing, just two little, errant consonants on a day when most people are slurring their speech anyway, but to a large proportion of Irish people, it’s like nails on a chalkboard. In Ireland, the day is referred to as either St. Patrick’s Day (formal) or Paddy’s Day (informal).

No matter which you pick, St. Patty’s Day simply doesn’t come into it. Paddy is the accepted abbreviation for Patrick; Patty is a woman’s name. “St. Patty’s Day” is a source of ire, annually, for a large chunk of people who hold the day close to their hearts. How America came to refer to Ireland’s patron saint as if he were a greasy puck of burger meat is anyone’s guess. (This guy cleared the snakes out of Ireland, for Chrissakes. Show some respect.)

In an effort to help, we thought about creating a Twitter bot that responds to every instance of “St. Patty’s Day” by correcting the offender, but that would, ultimately, solve nothing. People are not going to change, so we took a different tack.

If you’re one of the people for whom “St. Patty’s Day” makes you want to scream, scream no more. Simply install our “Kill St. Patty” Google Chrome extension on your browser, and every instance of “St Patty’s Day” on any website will automatically be erased and changed to either Paddy’s Day or St. Patrick’s Day, as God intended. For Americans and Canadians, this will help you avoid offending Irish people, if that’s a concern of yours. For Irish people, this is internet ear muffs.

Searches for St. Patrick’s Day and “Paddy’s Day” are still mostly centered in Ireland, according to Google Trends data, and while “St. Patrick’s Day” is still the globally dominant term, “St. Patty’s Day” is a uniquely North American phenomenon, with the greatest density of searches in Delaware and Pennsylvania. Shame on you.