The Many Deaths Of Trump-Run Businesses

Trump Brand® failure is the most luxurious, terrific failure in the whole world. In the whole world!

Delicious Trump brand treats! Joe Raedle/Getty Images — Getty Images
Mar 10, 2016 at 4:57 PM ET

After winning three out of four states in Tuesday’s primaries, a typical candidate might have thanked his supporters, condescendingly tipped his hat to his competitors, and skunked off into the electoral night. Donald Trump is no normal candidate though. So in addition to the normal Peanuts-parents honk of self adulation, the audience got something else: Merchandising! Merchandising! Merchandising!

Responding to the slights of 2012 Republican nominee Mitt Romney last week, Trump went full QVC, defending his many, many very successful not-fake businesses. To his right was a table stacked with Trump wine, Trump water, and Trump steaks (that weren’t Trump steaks). He threw a copy of one of his magazines into the press scrum. He talked a lot about winning the support of retired New York Yankee Paul O’Neill. It was weird.

But in an effort to prove his business acumen, he drew more attention to the absurd failures, bad ideas, and hypocrisies that have pockmarked his career playing the role of a rich successful man. Here are some of the greatest hits.