Colin Noir NRA Freestyle 01
#WTF

The NRA’s Bizzaro Web Series for Hipsters

In its new online show "Noir," the NRA employs millenial-friendly tropes to attract younger members—and fails miserably

NRA Freestyle is the National Rifle Association’s modish new media project, a slick website that will play host over the coming months to several original series. According to Glenn Beck’s news outlet, The Blaze, two of the shows will revolve around a Navy SEAL. In one, he critiques Hollywood fight scenes; in the other, he embarks on “a journey to teach a young girl about guns and personal safety.” Boy, talk about joining the golden age of television.

On Sunday, Freestyle debuted “Noir,” a 16-minute compendium of gab and segments hosted by a handsome, young black man and an attractive, young white woman. The show’s casting sends a clear message: The NRA wants you to know that it’s not just for angry old white guys. And for good reason. Despite a jump in membership after the Newtown massacre, only a small minority of Americans under 30 own a gun, and according to a poll taken last year, half of millennials support stricter gun laws.

Colion Noir

Vimeo/NRA Freestyle

The show is named for its male host, Colion Noir (real name Collins Idehen), as if he were a superhero, or the star of a gritty porn film. In the premier episode, he wears a flat-brimmed hat while his co-host, Amy Robbins, is dressed in stiletto heels and a micro skirt. They sit on leather chairs before a backdrop of assault rifles and bold letters that read: NRA. The set and feel are reminiscent of public-access television: Think Wayne’s World, but with a focus on sleek weapons.

The effort to appeal to young people is somewhat hysterical, as if the program were produced by aliens who spent an hour studying American pop culture and then thought, “Let’s make a hit!” The show is uproarious, but for all the wrong reasons; it’s the NRA’s first foray into camp. (The late Charlton Heston doesn’t count.)  Here, we break down perhaps the most tortured production in the history of programming. 

The Gratuitous New Media Mash-Up

For no discernible reason, the show opens with a random assortment of sped-up, stitched-together footage that includes a hamster on a wheel, buzzing bees, a book in flames, a clown, a herd of sheep and a polygraph machine. Apparently, the show is aimed at ecstasy-fueled club bangers on vacation in Ibiza.

Conspicuous Swag Consumption

Vimeo/NRA Freestyle

In a segment called “Gear Check,” which recalls Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Noir works himself into a huff.  “How’s it possible for me to walk out of a gun store with a $5,000 rifle in a cardboard box!” he implores.

“Literally in a cardboard box?” asks Robbins.

“I want a nice box!” Noir complains.

“Well, I get Lululemon headbands in better packaging than that,” Robbins says. “They make it really cute, and this is what the gun industry is missing.”

Dude, where’s my Prada holster?

Cameo From the Dos Equis Most Interesting Man in the World

Noir takes a stab at history and lays out his circuitous argument for guns. “The gun world didn’t come from nowhere,” he says. Then he references a photo of Earnest Hemingway in Africa and concludes, “There’s a reason The Most Interesting Man in the World is pro-gun.” Soon after, a photo of The Most Interesting Man in the World, who apparently is pro-gun, flashes on the screen.

Perhaps the NRA can enlist The Most Interesting Man in the World for its next ad campaign: “I don’t like to kill people, but when I do, I prefer an AK-47.”

Bashing Elites

In a segment called “Dynamic Movement,” Noir peers into the camera with his palms up and launches into tirade about the famously anti-gun Michael Bloomberg. He asks if the former New York City mayor is “the lamest billionaire on the planet.” Then he suggests, “He secretly wishes he was a grade school teacher.” (Snap!) Noir concludes: “If I was a billionaire, I’d be somewhere on Dan Bilzerian’s boat.”

Bloomberg, consider yourself served.

Cribs, With Guns

Vimeo/NRA Freestyle

Later Noir wonders: “Why isn’t there a show that kinda presents the gun in people’s homes the way, I don’t know, they used to do with Cribs? Right, we all remember the famous shot of Mariah Carey getting into a bathtub with a Bushmaster AR-15. Noir then introduces a segment called “Gun Pads,” featuring weapons randomly placed on personal items, like a rifle sitting atop a Steinway piano. Tchotchkes are for pussies, anyway.

Accessorize! Accessorize! Accessorize!

Vimeo/NRA Freestyle

For another segment, Noir spotlights one of his favorite weapons, the Smith and Wesson Shield. “The Will Smith of the gun world,” he explains.

“It’s a gun for someone that’s self-assured,” he elaborates. “It’s a gun for the city urbanite who makes frequent trips to the CVS at the bottom of his loft because he refuses to buy food from a natural grocery store. Or the 24-year-old bombshell whose idea of acceptable grocery story attire is a pair of yoga tights and a T-shirt.”

Put another way, if you like kale or are unattractive, this gun is not for you.

Obligatory Social Media Reference

Just before the show mercifully ends, Robbins informs viewers that her co-host has a large social media presence and that his fans frequently ask him questions on Facebook. She reads one of them aloud: “Hey Colion,” she says. “You seem obsessed with guns. Have you ever made love to one?”

Noir attempts to play it cool. “I’ve made love while there was a gun in the room,” he confesses. “Does that count?”

Only if it were a threesome, Colion.

Respond Now
  • It’s funny how the extreme left has boxed “minorities” into a well defined role (don’t call it racist). More of the same #cultureofshutup

  • 281567 52824I conceive this internet internet site contains some rattling amazing information for every person : D. 392068

  • This show is catering to gun owners who are not the backwoods hunter types. I see nothing wrong with it. I don’t agree with the NRA’s politics, but I’m a liberal and I do believe in the 2nd Amendment and I do appreciate well made firearms. 

  • Yes Mr. SpiesWe are all inbred idiots because we are po 2nd admendment……thank you for reminding us…….

  • @ Mike Spie – you’re finding out that us 2nd Amendment types are a pretty prickly bunch.  I take it the people this is directed towards will find it more to their liking than you.  To make an analogy – this is like the reaction you would get if you critiqued a gay issues website and complained that the content was “fruity” and opined that being a homo is a sin. 

  • Okay, So you bash him for speaking his opinion on a specific topic while at the same time you sir are speaking your opinion.  Seems a bit hypocritical there.  You fight for progressive action, and in the same breath talk about women as if they are second rate to men only applying sex appeal where if you looked into Ms. Robbins’ carrer you would have the proverbal foot in your mouth.  Just because the point of some of the aspects  in the show fall on deaf ears with you doesnt mean they do with the rest of people.  For example, that “stitched together random film at the start” is actually meant to display some aspects of the american public.  Bees show the american public as a hive mind that simply follow each other or the direction of a queen or in our case, governmnet with false information.  Sheep refers to the way that people insist on being unarmed with the hopes that a wolf will never come after them and when they do they pray to be armed again but its too late, its a common metaphore in the firearms community.  Finally, Mr. Spies, the main reason why most of these things dont make sense to you is one simple reason. You are obviously not a member of the gun owning community.  It is like having a four year old try and comprehend a show about the inner workings of an automobile or mortgage fraud.  If they arent a part of the community in question, then how are they supposed to understand the information displayed within the segment.  Dont bash and claim someone has failed at their job because they havent, you have failed at yours as a writer.  You have missed the point of the peice that you are reviewing and have frankly gone ahead and jumped to sexist, racist, and other bold conclusions that make you seem uneducated and even more closed minded than those that you attempt to claim are behind on the progressive movement. 

  • Show More
  • Great show! Wasn’t aware of it until this one-sided freedom hating vomit was printed. Either way, thanks for plugging it!

  • Weak willed, spaghetti spined, no constitution having, rolling natural 1s in life liberal lame, attempting to draw attention to himself by piggybacking off of someone else’s success. I find it surprising tha you didn’t mention he had a following before the NRA picked him up. Its cool thought. Continue to wear flannel oneys while people like Colion run circles around you.Chump

  • You must not like Noir because he is black. You are racist. That’s what liberals tell me about me not liking Obama.

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    • I have no problem with Noir; it’s that he made a horrible, irresponsbile show. His race is only relevant to you.

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      • Horrible is an opinion. Show me irresponsible, please.

      • Please explain the “irresponsible” comment.

  • Bahaha this article failed in trashing anything. All of these people were successful on social media prior to being picked up by the NRA. Pretty sure your racist and sexist comments won’t undermine their success but will make you look like a jackwad. Also you might want to watch some of their earlier videos so you can actually learn what an “assault rifle” is, something millenials have actually learned.

  • Wow… obvious sexism is obvious. Damn, dude.

  • Reading garbage like this makes me even more proud I’m with the gun people. You make other gun grappers feel ashamed of themselves, at least the ones with even little bit of decency.

  • Man, this must kill you, but I actually like the show.  I guess I’m one of the few though, and my opinions must not matter because I’m a part of “a small minority” of millennials, who happens to own guns, and though I don’t consider myself a hipster, I do think of myself as fashion-consciences. But whatever.  You’re going to hate on the show or anything the NRA does (to which I’m not a member; surprised, right?), because of your preconceived biases.  This article oozes with your fomenting jaundice to the point where I wonder if I should be concerned for your health, or be angry over your bigoted world view that is an affront to my way of life and culture.

    2 Replies - Reply Now
    • So let me guess. You are from New York or close enough that you can smell Bloomberg’s stench? Your racial and sexual profiling is typical liberal garbage. These are two very responsible adults; no matter their ag. Who stand for their Constitutional rights. Something you obviously know nothing about. Sickening stab at reporting. I hope you do not try to make a living off this. You need to research your terminology grossly!

    • I have never heard anyone talk about the NRA Convention with such excitement.  The script for this video is so insane!  Mike Spies is right, this is horrible and completely iressponsible.

  • This article is probably one of the worst forrays into journalism I have ever seen! Mr. Noir gives a real look into the hypocracy of gun control and politics in general. It’s about time he get’s some decent recognition. Finally, someone who has a clue and an outlet to show it! It’s too bad this website is apparently another one that is sucking on the kool-aid tit!

  • Why the hating on a black guy who not only likes guns, but is knowledgeable about them and the history of the Democratic Party in terrorizing and depriving black folks of their civil rights for the past 100 years?  The racist crap this author spews is disgusting.  Also, how do you figure that it “fails miserably”?  What an ass.

  • I wonder if the article would be even more intolerant had they added a transgender co-host to a show about guns, the 3 minutes i wasted reading and typing this are 3 minutes i wont get back..

    1 Reply - Reply Now
    • The only thing I’m intolerant of is the quality of the show and its ridiculous message. 

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      • Please quantify that statement. Specifically what is ridiculous about the message? I realize being an intolerant Liberal makes facts difficult to grasp and use but would you please try? Please enlighten all us dumb ol redneck hicks about your vast knowledge and understanding of gun culture in America.

  • Love this guy! I’ll be watching his show more often.

  • Looking at you picture (Mr.,I presume)Spies, you appear to be the shaggy hipster type that would cry if you ever had to hold any firearm (Oh my gosh!), let alone ever use one. So, with that said what in the hell do you know about this subject? I suspect not a damn thing you sissfied, left wing, bloomberg loving sycophant. Your attempt to be witty, yet condescending fails miserably simply because you fail to grasp that the new NRA isn’t really made up of just old white men. You’d be amazed that although the NRA is the “group” to be in if you are a gun owner, there are a large number of gun owners  that aren’t members of the NRA; but are gravitating towards personalities like Colion & Amy because they are simply into the same kind of things we are. Finally, how about writing about those left wing PETA types saving animals, yet support the killing of an unborn child. Yes, you live in that kind of world, where animals are protected, yet children are thrown away like trash to fuel your 2 bedroom apartment in whatever hellish place you call home. How about writing about something that truly matters? It’s easy to attempt to critique an easy target when you’re surrounded by those that praise the crap you spew. How about writing how the current administration is killing the greatness that this country was founded on, yes that would be the U.S. Constitution. You chime on freely using the First Amendment, while lambasting supporters of the Second Amendment. You fail to realize that if it wasn’t for the Second Amendment, you wouldn’t have the First Amendment to use like your personal self serving whore.

  • That might have been the single most ignorant article I’ve ever read. All you did was trash the show, in it’s first episode! How many TV pilots have you seen that absolutely blew you away?This is the kind of thing the NRA needs. A young person who is as obsessed with and vocal about guns as the old rednecks in Lower Alabama (No offense, LA). Lets be honest here. I’m a straight 23 year old guy. I would, definitely prefer to watch Amy Robbins talk about guns over a couple old dudes any day. Basically, all you’re doing is tearing down an ideal that could very well save your life one day. It’s already saved thousands, not to mention help build the democracy we live in today. 

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    • For some reason it didn’t post with my paragraph breaks. Excuse the fact that’s one big paragraph.

  • What poll? You say a bunch of shit and don’t back it up

  • Charming hit piece, but your vitriol is largely shallow and pedantic. As infuriating as I’m sure it is to you that someone…ANYONE doesn’t fit your deep seeded preconceptions, I’m sure its all the more furiating knowing that a black man is doing it…and that he was doing it for years before the NRA cut him his first check.It is interesting to me how vehemently progressives have come out to attack Colion in particular…I’m sure it has nothing to do with the color of his skin.Oh.  I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply racism.  That’s your job.  Stay classy, Mike.

  • Its about time hipsters find the joys of firearms. Us country boys have been using them since we were kids.  Thanks for spreading the word Mike Spies.

  • its about time holsters find firearms.  Us country boys have been using them since we were kids.

  • “The NRA wants you to know that it’s not just for angry old white guys.” A stereotype invented by citizen disarmament zealots, their organizations, their media allies, and their apologists, and all stereotypes are based on ignorance and hate. “…only a small minority of Americans under 30 own a gun, and according to a poll taken last year, most millennials support stricter gun laws.” Most citizen who own firearms will not respond to a poll asking about firearms because they believe that that information in no ones business but their own, and they fear the person making the call may be a criminal looking for guns to steal.  When I polling for a candidate for U.S. Senate when I asked who they planned to vote for so many times I was told “That is none of your business.”  Firearms owners are even more hostile to polls. Furthermore, a Gallup Poll of May 6, 2014  found that 46% of those surveyed supported enforcing current gun laws more strictly and NOT pass any new laws while only 47% responded to enforce current gun laws more strictly and pass new gun control laws. The same poll found that 51% of those surveyed opposed a “Assault Weapons” Ban while 44% opposed it. The poll also found that 74% of those surveyed oppose a ban on the possession of handguns except by police and other authorized persons and only 24% supported it which is a record low. http://www.gallup.com/poll/159569/americans-stricter-gun-laws-oppose-bans.aspx A Reuters/Ipsos poll showed found that 68 percent, or two out of three respondents, had a favorable opinion of the NRA.  http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/04/13/us-usa-guns-poll-idUSBRE83C0G420120413 Of course, citizen disarmament zealots, their organizations, their media allies, and their apologists fear this video series because more of the public may find that firearms owners in general and the NRA in particular are not the big bad ogar that so many would have us believe.  Even at that the gallup poll found that only 4% of those polled voiced that guns/gun-control is a major issue facing the nation.

  • Mike Spies…tool

  • Of course you all are so “tolerant” but heaven forbid an African-American standing up for 2nd Amendment rights. Please keep making fun of him, you’re only digging yourself into a deeper hole my friend. We all know you’d be up in arms if we made fun of a pro gun control African-American. The hypocrisy.

  • Mike, you should really be thanking Colion.  The only people reading your article are ones that saw it posted by Colion on his Facebook.And now they are here reading your article and realizing how uneducated and foolish you are.Cheers.

    2 Replies - Reply Now
    • Truth. 

    • Yep, never heard of ya until he posted the link to this article. The only interesting thing mentioned is the “jump in NRA memberships after the Newtown massacre”. The rest is crap. Seriously. I’m sorry I wasted a whole minute of my life reading it. I’m angry that I’ve wasted another 2 minutes commenting, but I felt compelled to let someone know how crappy this is. Opinions are like ***holes, we all have one, but this doesn’t even sound like an opinion. It’s petty and condescending and frankly, sounds like someone’s jealous. 

  • Those of  us who are not phobic about gun or obsessed with ruling the World from a position of weakness, think Mr Noir is quite witty and entertaining.  You should probably eat a handfull of prosac, sit down on the comode and eat a big bowl of vanilla ice cream. That usually sooths the garden variety whiny oral personality.  If it doesn’t work for you, then call your therapist.

  • Loved the show, obviously you’re anti gun, closed minded, with no concern for any facts to make your arguement.  Almost all my friends own guns, many with ccp’s.  Your article sounds pathetic, do some research next time you write an anti gun piece, of course factual evidence always sides with responsible gun ownership.  Love my freedom, love my guns, good luck being a sheep.  

  • What is your definition of “high caliber”? I usually think anything above 7.62 would be considered high. Most of what I see in the background is 5.56 and below. Mike you are a close minded, intolerant, uneducated dolt. I wouldn’t have read this garbage were it not for Colin. Hey Mike how about some rebuttal? I will warn you not every gun owner is as dumb as you would have people believe. Paranoid yes, dumb no!

    2 Replies - Reply Now
    • I’ve never heard of a high caliber anything till I learned of the evil “Ghost Gun”.

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      • LOL! I dont usually use LOL but reading that really did cause a little laugh. Thanks.

    • Kelly Collier, thanks for using “dolt.”  I just don’t get to read it often and this was such a perfect time to employ it.  This is not sarcasm, I really only came to this inane article because “Mr.” Colion Noir posted it on Instagram.I don’t understand why this author would mock the NRA for hiring good looking, young people to host a show.  Really?  Besides, I’ve been following Noir sense the days of him going on and on about the Walking Dead, he was a gun freak then, too.  So, I’ll be going back for more installments of “Noir”, but probably won’t be back to read Mike Spies posts again.

  • I’m older and out of the target demographic, but i’ve wondered the same thing Noir mentions about the ‘cardboard box’or guns only offered for the most part in ‘black.’Americans like choice be it a car, a laptop, or a phone.Why a company can’t toss in a $10 plastic locking case for a rifle seems out of touch. Especially since i have to transport the rifle home in one. Why i can’t order direct with color’s and features (upgraded sights, painted designs for my daughter, etc) is baffling as more than men buy firearms.No doubt firearms are cool. Anyone growing up on video games eventually wants to try the real thing. I enjoy it more than golf, and so do my clients (whom often join me).

  •  I’ve never even heard about this web sight nor would I bother reading this crap if Mr. Noire didn’t post a link in his IG. I’m also under 30, a gun owner and I’m from New England. Pretty over fundamentalist liberals telling everyone what’s right for them and society. They’ve become everything my older brother hated in the 80′s and shaved a Mohawk for. Shades of Travis from taxi driver come to mind…

  • Nice close minded propaganda champ. Would really like to know where you are getting your info on younger gun owners. Regardless, its painfully and pathetically obvious your whole issue is that you are narrow mindedly against guns, the promotion of them or dicussion of anything involving them. You might want to take a cue from them tho, considering that the only reader you have for your trash piece is THEIR fanbase. 

    1 Reply - Reply Now
  • Looks like you got served mike spies you ultradouche… BTW never heard of this website, real popular.

  • Every friend I have under 30 has gone out and gotten their conceiled carry permit. Lol shooting AR15′s and glocks is fun. Get over it fundamentalist liberals. 

  • Pray tell*

  • Why praty tell did two of my comments Disappear ? Is it because I disproved your assertion that millenials want more gun control?

  • I liked the show!  You obviously have a problem with guns period because you couldn’t find Anything to like!  Oh, I know.  You’re a RACIST!

  • Its also not a “small Minority” of people under 30 that own guns. Of people under 30 35% belong to an armed household,That number does drop to a measelly 16% when reporting individual ownership. Sure thats low, but it means little when you take into account that millenials are not Financially established just yet, and it also doesn’t reflect firearms INTEREST. Also, Most Gun owners won’t reveal their ownership, for obvious reasons… In conclusion, your assertions are silly.

  • “with a focus on high-caliber weapons.” – But, then his featured gun of the day is a small 9mm handgun.

    2 Replies - Reply Now
    • It’s ‘high caliber’ if it isn’t a slingshot. ;-) Though, I suppose Dennis the Menace’s ‘assault slingshot’ is next on the ban list.

    • Today I learned that 5.56×45 is a “high-caliber”.

      1 Reply - Reply Now
      • since caliber denotes bullet diameter, and 5.56 is now “high caliber” I guess my little save 22 should be considered a cannon… and my mosin should be mounted to a battleship.

  • Incase you miss it, it suggest Millenials are sitting similar to everyone else on Gun control, that is a near 50/50 split.

  • You obviously don’t know much do you? Why don’t you go back to running articles on loser celebs, let the “gun world” Have its TV shows. This isn’t to convince young people that guns are cool, This is a show to target the younger generation of firearms owners or 2nd amendment supporters. Obviously you are neither. Colion has been making gun review videos on youtube for years. If you don’t like it then fuck off. Everything done or shown in this video is legal. So why do you care?

  • The Reason a small minority of people under 30 dont own a gun is because in Obama’s America they can’t afford them. Jobless, school-less, and hopeless.

    1 Reply - Reply Now
    • Yep. Pretty much the same reason they don’t own cars or houses either. If they barely have a place to keep a gun or a way to get to a gun store, they’re probably not going to own a gun.

  • This douchcanoe Mike that wrote this doesn’t have a clue what this show or Colion is about. I’m sure Mike is happy at least 3 people read one of his articles now though.  I am sure there will be a follow up as he prays for double digit views.  Good luck mike

    1 Reply - Reply Now
    • lol douchcanoe

  • what a stupid article the gun owners of this country are the only one protecting your rights dumbasses.Why do we need more law?more control?Vocativ is undirectly saying that they want the u.s population to be controlled…geniuses

  • Somehow I think people are only going to see this is because Colion posted the link. Why not just say guns and gun owners frighten you and move along? See how easy that is?  

    1 Reply - Reply Now
    • Yeah Colion Noir sent me here from his facebook.  I don’t think Mike Spies watched Noir with an open mind.  As a gun owner i thought the show was ok.  Colion asked for feedback on his instagram and got a lot of it, i think the show will work out its kinks and get better.

      1 Reply - Reply Now
      • I’ve never even heard about this shitty web sight nor would I bother reading this crap if Mr. Noire didn’t post a link in his IG. I’m also under 30, a gun owner and I’m from New England. Pretty over fundamentalist liberals telling everyone what’s right for them and society. They’ve become everything my older brother hated in the 80′s and shaved a Mohawk for. 

  • Do your homework. Mr. Clion Noir has been making videos for over a year before he was asked to join the NRA team.

    1 Reply - Reply Now
    • Doh. That’s “Colion Noir”. And his show is imply a larger version of his previous videos done on his own.

      1 Reply - Reply Now
      • Seems that the anti part of you blinded you to the message.Next time, watch some of the Facebook stuff before you try to be so negative.

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