Silver Fox in Tuxedo Shoots At Couple Who Interrupted Oral Sex

Dressed in formal attire, 64-year-old Paul J. Hunter allegedly opened fire on a couple who accidentally cockblocked him while receiving fellatio in Seattle's Pioneer Square

James Bond would have simply scored a room at the Four Seasons. 

A formally attired older man with white hair and a gun is accused of opening fire on a Seattle couple after they interrupted him while receiving oral sex in a side-street alcove, authorities allege.

Dressed in black tie and carrying a license for a concealed semiautomatic weapon, Paul J. Hunter began shooting at the pair who stumbled upon him and his companion in Pioneer Square, according to charging papers filed by the King County Prosecutor’s Office.

“You’re dead, motherfuckers,” the rakish 64-year-old allegedly shouted before pulling the trigger. “You’re dead.”

The record states that Hunter and an unidentified woman stepped into an alcove near the 300 block of Fourth Avenue South around 2 a.m. on Aug. 26, at which point his date began to perform oral sex on him. Moments later, a man and woman embroiled in a loud argument turned the corner and came across the lovebirds.

The quibbling couple apparently spooked Hunter’s paramour, who bolted, leaving the well-dressed gentleman with his pants down and his blood boiling.

According to police, an enraged Hunter hitched up his tuxedo bottoms, drew his 9 mm Kel-Tec semiautomatic pistol and screamed that he would kill the cockblocking interlopers. He then fired a single shot. The couple cowered behind a parked car as police arrived on scene.

It didn’t take long for the officers to track down the tuxedoed suspect, whom they found walking nearby. Hunter had no criminal history and declined to make a statement to police. He was carrying just the bare essentials on his person: the pistol, $190 in cash, his concealed weapons permit and a comb.

Hunter faces second-degree assault charges and remains in King County Jail on $100,000 bail. It is not yet clear why he was dressed formally.

TV&MOVIES

Data Proves Maggie Gyllenhaal Is Right About Hollywood Sexism

Alex Koppelman
HEALTH

Rachael Farrokh And The Shocking Stats On Anorexia Treatment

Sarah Kaufman
FUN

Nobody Wants To Be Ruled By Redheads

Sarah Kaufman
INDUSTRY

Americans Dominate Forbes' List Of 100 Most Powerful Women

Sarah Kaufman
EDUCATION

The Student Loan Companies With The Most Complaints

Abigail Tracy
GOOGLE

White People Are The Default For Google Images

Sarah Kaufman
INTERNET

New "Abused Emojis" Designed To Help Kids Express Child Abuse

Mike Spies
HEALTH

E-Cigarette Risks May Not Apply To The Average Vaper

Joshua A. Krisch