Poltergeist Under Couple’s Bed Turns Out to Be Meth Head

Jul 14, 2014 at 1:49 PM ET

It’s been a little hard for Brian O’Neill to catch some decent shut-eye ever since he and his wife discovered a monster under their bed.

“Oh man, I haven’t been able to sleep very well,” the Seattle business analyst tells Vocativ. “It was like one of those really creepy movies.”

The University District couple returned to their condo late Wednesday night and walked right into a scene straight out of Paranormal Activity. They found their junk mail ripped open and a paint can overturned in their toilet. Someone—or something—had also smeared lotion over their doorknobs, the couple says.

Spooked, Brian O’Neill, 38, and his wife crept into their bedroom. “And it was just trashed,” says Bridget O’Neill, 32, who works for the Pokemon Company International as a graphic designer. She found all their clothes scattered on the floor. A mound of electronics had been piled high on top of their bed. And perhaps most bizarre, the soles of her shoes and boots—20 pairs total—had been removed.

Yet nothing had been stolen. Not the couple’s cash, their laptops or their jewelry. They called the cops, who were just as baffled when they arrived at the Northeast 42nd Avenue residence. The officers determined that an intruder must have shimmied up a tree next to the condo and crawled through the O’Neills’ bedroom window, according to the police report obtained by Vocativ. But they did not find any fingerprints. They did, however, discover a purse belonging to a 27-year-old woman, the report says.

The officers left after 45 minutes. “We didn’t feel threatened, but we were somewhat disturbed,” Brian O’Neill says. “It was a really weird experience.”

But that was just the beginning.

The couple had started to pick up the mess left in their bedroom when Bridget O’Neill found a pair of shoes that didn’t belong to her. Minutes later, Brian O’Neill moved their bed slightly to pick up a bracelet off the floor, he says. Suddenly, something under the bed started to stir. “It was a noise coming from something alive,” Brian O’Neill says. “It sounded like a dying possum or raccoon. I had only heard wounded animals make that kind of noise before.”

Bridget O’Neill wondered aloud if something had happened to one of their two cats, Mogwai and Gizmo. “I was like, ‘I don’t think it’s the cat,’” Brian O’Neill says.

The animal noise grew louder. Then the couple heard the sound of fierce scratching. They fled the bedroom and called the cops again. The Seattle Police Department returned to the scene and later offered its own tongue-in-cheek take on the unsettling situation. “Now facing the possibility of having to figure out how to arrest a poltergeist, officers dutifully sped back to the University District condo,” the department wrote in its entertaining and often hilarious crime blotter.

The O’Neills waited outside their condo when the police returned and went inside. The officers emerged a few minutes later with a lanky, wild-eyed woman. Somehow, she had spent at least the last two hours hiding under the bed, which stands less than a foot off the ground.

“When I saw that it was a woman, my reality suddenly kind of shifted,” says Brian O’Neill. “My wife pretty much collapsed on the stairwell.”

The woman, who authorities did not identify, told cops that she had been on a “meth rampage” for several days, according to the police report. Police believe the tweaker had hid under the bed during a bout of drug-induced paranoia. Brian O’Neill says she stood about 5-foot-7 and weighed maybe 90 pounds. “I thought it was one of the skinniest people I have ever seen,” he says.

Later, he and his wife made a few more grisly discoveries. They found a hypodermic needle in their bedsheets and locks of the meth monster’s blond hair littered around their house. Under the bed, they found a large kitchen knife.

“Rather than use the knife to pop out and murder us, she was using the knife to deconstruct the box springs of the bed,” Bridget O’Neill says. “Honestly, I feel kind of bad for her. This woman was so tiny and not together, it’s hard to be mad. If you describe yourself as being on a meth rampage, you’re probably in bad shape. I feel like regular old meth is bad enough.”

Despite the frightening ordeal, Brian O’Neill says he and his wife have no plans to move. “But we’re probably going to get a new mattress.”