Secret Diary of a Beverly Hills Pimp
When prosecutors busted larger-than-life Hollywood hustler Taquarius Ford, they found the manuscript of his unpublished autobiography on his laptop. And it's a doozy. Below, the most pimp-tacular excerpts
Pimpin’ ain’t easy for Taquarius Ford these days. The 34-year-old hustler who claims to hail from Beverly Hills is locked up in a Portland, Oregon, penitentiary with no hope of posting bail. Pinched by the feds in late February, he’s facing a slew of criminal charges, including conspiracy to commit sex trafficking and sex trafficking by force, fraud and coercion.
Federal prosecutors say the alleged sexual predator trolled suburban shopping malls in Oregon and other states posing as a modeling agent. Flashing fat stacks and snapshots of famous people he claimed were his friends, Ford would lure young, impressionable women to Hollywood, where he’d wine and dine them in trendy restaurants, according to prosecutors. He’d dangle the promise of a lavish and glamorous lifestyle, then turn them into high-end prostitutes.
According to prosecutors, in one case Ford met an 18-year-old girl at a mall in Idaho and flew her to Los Angeles. He took her to a party at the Playboy Mansion and later tried to force her to work in his escort business. She refused. That’s when Ford allegedly raped her, wrapping his hands around her neck and calling her a whore. He then tried to pimp her out in Portland, where she was later rescued.
Perfectly cast for a Hollywood villain, Ford made it even easier for prosecutors by chronicling his exploits in an unpublished memoir, which was introduced as evidence in federal court Wednesday. The document is pretty much a goldmine of pimp quotes, full of all the depraved self-aggrandizement you might expect, plus practical tips for aspiring young pimps. (You can download the whole thing below.)
“I was never one of those guys who went to strip clubs or night clubs to knock a girl,” he writes in the deftly titled Denial of a Pimp, which officials seized from Ford’s laptop computer. “I like playing small rural cities with small populations. I usually hit places like the Mall, Wal-Mart’s [sic] and Fast Food joints.”
He continues: “I give them my business card and then I show them a few pictures of me with my celebrity friends. I flash a wad of cash so big it could choke an elephant. I then come at them on some modeling or you should be an actress type shit. Within an hour they are usually hooked, line and sinker.”
Over the course of 35 chapters rife with spelling and grammatical errors (and a curiously high number of quotes from Calvin Coolidge, Winston Churchill and Colin Powell), the Fresh Pimp of Bel Air catalogues his many triumphs, shortcomings and hard-learned tricks of the trade. He crows about how a trip to McDonald’s inspired him to create a carnal “value meal,” where his girls would perform a number of sex acts for only $99. He gives the creator of Craigslist, Craig Newmark, props as “Pimp of the Decade” for helping to explode the online sex trade. And he brags about convincing women he pimped to tattoo his name on their bodies.
In a narrative with highs, lows and plenty of preposterous logic, Ford documents how he supposedly became a kingpin of the West Coast prostitution game, a baller flush with cash, yachts, Bentleys and private jets.
“I’m hard on a bitch because it’s hard to get rich,” he writes in the preface. “This is my story of tough love, muddled by puddles of tears all while chasing bags of tax-free money.”
Despite his shady sex dealings, it appears the conniving Casanova had more ambitious schemes in mind. Ford made every effort to cozy up to some of Hollywood’s biggest stars, posing in photographs with Jay-Z, Brad Pitt, Taylor Swift and countless other celebrities. On an IMDB page, he claims to be a publicist for Kanye West, Justin Bieber and “Katie” Perry.
When he wasn’t pimping, Ford was apparently busy trying his hand at various other money-making schemes. On his personal website, which was taken down Wednesday night, he billed himself as a “tycoon,” “entrepreneur” and “financial advisor.” He claimed be a finance graduate student at UCLA, and to have published papers on how to build wealth and succeed at real estate, which dovetailed nicely with a get-rich-quick website he also created called TranslateWealth.com. (It was taken down, too, but you can peep a version of it here.) And as a self-described millionaire and philanthropist, he even started his own nonprofit aimed at helping kids hooked on drugs.
As if that weren’t enough, the renaissance pimp found the time to star in a series of YouTube videos in which he parades around his lavish digs showing off his Picassos and a pair of Muhammad Ali’s boxing shorts.
All of this, prosecutors say, was little more than window dressing for his real line of work.
“He is nothing more than a violent pimp who has lived off exploiting women his entire adult life,” wrote Assistant U.S. Attorney Stacie Beckerman in court papers.
Below, we’ve culled the choicest excerpts from all 35 chapters of Denial of a Pimp, so you can decide for yourself. Scroll down to the bottom of the page to see the complete manuscript.
From the Preface:
When a woman graduates my “University of Escorting” she’ll walk away with a bachelor’s degree in finance, a minor in business and a master’s in sex education. I’m hard on a bitch because it’s hard to get rich. This is my story of tough love, muddled by puddles of tears all while chasing bags of tax free money.
From Chapter 1: The Condom is Money
I buy so many condoms because each condom represents $300. See the girls that I work with charge $300 plus per hour and since I am a man of safety and disease control, and well I’m also a man of class and fine taste. For every 40 pack of condoms that my girl goes through, that’s $12,000 dollars per box.
From Chapter 2: Magic Money
I love inspiring my girls, especially when they take trips out of town. I’d always stuff a wad of one dollar bills into their purse before dropping them off at the airport. I did this as a way to encourage her. I would give her one hundred—one dollar Bills. I told her she had the power to make magic happen.
From Chapter 5: Motivation
Materialistic possessions can be huge factors in my recruitment strategy. As soon as the newbie see’s my car or how big my house is, “I got her!” Essentially what I do is; I’ll invite her to one of my homes. I let her relax in the Jacuzzi or ride around in the Bentley. “Ya know, take a real load off.” …Sometimes that’s all it takes to seal the deal.
From Chapter 7: F.Y.I.—For Your Information
Just last week I met a square girl who told me she had intercourse with some guy she had just met. It was their first date, he took her to Taco Bell and she didn’t even orgasm from the sex. I saw this as an opportunity! I explained to her that she ought to “Get paid, to get laid” and the money she would make from escorting would last a lot longer than any orgasm. Of course she made the right decision and chose to come along with me.
From Chapter 12: Can’t Buy Me Love
I always have to remind young pimps, business acquaintances and even myself that in this game we must keep dough over a hoe, bread over head and cash over ass. I have seen so many good pimps get side tracked because they knock a beautiful girl and then they fall in love with her. They end up being the trick and the girl ends up controlling the relationship.
From Chapter 13: Keep Your Mouth Shut
Remember, cops don’t know shit unless you tell them.
From Chapter 14: Outcalls to Hotels
By law, an undercover prostitution agent is prohibited from drinking on the job and could damage the case if he’s intoxicated. A real client or trick will most likely have a few glasses to get a buzz and to satisfy his lady’s request. If he refuses to meet at the bar, run far-far away!
From Chapter 16: Pimp of the Decade
It is estimated that Craig [Newmark of Craigslist] made a quarter of a billion dollars in the two-year span that he started charging people to post adult ads. “Two hundred and Fifty Million Dollars in two years.” This is why I say Craig deserves the Pimp of the Decade award.”
From Chapter 17: Think Outside Her Box
I always think outside of the box for my girls. In this business you have to set trends, it’s a must! …One day I was at McDonalds getting an ice cream cone when it hit me, I’ll set up a Value Menu for my girls, just like Ronald did with his Double Cheese Burgers. Man, I got so excited!
From Chapter 19: Where’s the Honor
So we got a bunch of broken rules and lost morals! We got pimps paying for pussy and lap-dances. You got Gorilla pimps who knock bitches and get em strung out on coke and heroin. That’s real sleaze-ball shit which also dates back to the early days. However, I can proudly say that I’ve never condoned drugs as a method of motivation. I have work with over one-hundred girls.
From Chapter 20: The Secret, the Lifestyle, the Addiction
Within a few years, I have discreetly managed to make over a couple million dollars in the escort business. However, my discretion level has been without a shadow of a doubt mandatory. It’s almost like I’ve been living a double life. The good part is, I have been able to pull it off extremely well. My family, friends and business acquaintances have no idea what I do. They have no idea Vaginas are indeed my #1 source of income.
From Chapter 22: Pursue and Tattoo
I like to pursue a young lady and make them fall in love with me. I want them to fall in love with my character and my personality. …That’s when I persuade her to get my name tattooed on her. I do this for several reasons. None of which are egotistical, for me it’s always business. I have come to the conclusion that a girl is less likely to leave you if she has your name inked and stained on her. She’ll definitely think twice before jumping ship!
From Chapter 23: Betta Fish and the Bottom Bitch
I don’t care how much the new girl and bottom bitch get along in the beginning, eventually the new girl will want to become daddy’s main bitch, and typically that’s when the drama starts. A lot of times managers and pimps lose some of their top new earners because a girl in the stable becomes jealous and blows the situation.
From Chapter 24: Characteristics of a Good Bottom Bitch
When you find a girl who doesn’t complain about seeing ten plus tricks per day, who is not materialistic, who has never stolen a single cent from you and has no desire to do drugs then you have a good bitch.
From Chapter 25: Choosing the Right Girl to Knock
Small towns are great places for finding new girls. I was never one of those guys who went to strip clubs or night clubs to knock a girl. I like playing small rural cities with small populations. I usually hit places like the Mall, Wal-Mart’s and Fast Food joints to knock a girl. …I give them my business card and then I show them a few pictures of me with my celebrity friends. I flash a wad of cash so big it could choke an elephant. I then come at them on some modeling or you should be an actress type shit. Within an hour they are usually hooked, line and sinker.
From Chapter 26: The Town
Whenever my girl and I arrive to a new destination, her phone rings nonstop. She’ll post ads like, “Just Visiting,” or “In Town for One Day Only.” This always gets the attention of the hobbyist and the habitual sex addict. We stay for a few days, milk the town and then it’s on to the next one.
From Chapter 27: When It Hurts So Bad
I’m living a double life and it has been hard work. It’s a vigorous routine. To manage two LLC’s and a patent in progress, a nonprofit organization plus 3 to 5 yapping escorts on a daily basis has taken a lot out of me.
From Chapter 28: Take Risk, Have a Plan & Move On
Some managers, pimps and madams will never leave the game unless they are forced out by law or some other unforeseen circumstance… I have learned to pimp the game as opposed to being pimped by the game. Now all I gotta do is walk away.
From Chapter 29: Gifted & Talented
If I as a Managers can persuade two total strangers who have never met to exchange money for companionship and then bring that same money back to me so I can make the best possible decision on what it’s to be used for, than I’d say that’s a gift. However my talents go far beyond male-female intimacy. …Even as I write this book I am finding my hidden talent which is writing.
From Chapter 30: Olly Olly Oxen Free
I think woman are beautiful and amazing individuals and there should be no value placed on the worth of her vagina. With that being said, this is still a cash business and just like any other business we must set firm competitive rates of services providing. Unfortunately however prices are decreasing.
From Chapter 31: I Got Game
A lot of people would assume that my job is simple, like all I do is sit back, collect the money and bang hot chicks all day. On the contrary my job has been a daily struggle in which requires constant planning. It’s not as if I’m laying a cheese trap for a mouse, like once he gets his little paws on the cheddar than “SNAP” we got em. It’s just the opposite!
From Chapter 32: Persistence is Key
I’ve always been a very meticulous manager, and I’ve always been hard on a bitch. However it’s been done with tough love and adoration. …I believe if you’re good to the game, then in return the game will be good to you.
From Chapter 33: Decisions – Decisions
I have seen a lot during my stint as an escort manager, rivers of tears from girls who have poured out there heart to me. Most of their cries stem from needed attention. I don’t sweat females. I love sex but money comes first, so for me to have intercourse with one of my ladies is a special treat for them.
From Chapter 34: Positive Thoughts
Even when I recruit a new girl, I always name her after women whom have had a positive impact in my life. Ya know, like an old teacher, the first girl I ever kissed. …I don’t do that old ghetto naming shit like calling my girl diamond or bubbles.
Chapter 35: The Farewell
Escorting is nothing like drugs or acts of violence. This is love at its best. We are keeping the rapist and molesters from acting out. Countless times escorts have told me that they’ve saved marriages and given confidence to lonely single men. Forget Dr. Phil being a psychologist, he would have made a better pimp.