Amazon Drones Poster 02

Dismembered: Why Amazon Customers Should Fear Its Drone Delivery Service

Shipping could cost an arm and a leg

This is the story Amazon doesn’t want you to see: Delivery drones that want to chop your fingers off and slice open your face.

Tweet to us: Do you think delivery by drone would work?

Last night on 60 Minutes, Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos previewed a drone-filled future, a world in which so-called quadrocopters zip around your leafy suburban neighborhood, dropping packages gingerly on your doorstep before flying back to Amazon’s happy drone headquarters to prepare for the next potentially deadly mission.

“I know this looks like science fiction,” Bezos told a shocked Charlie Rose. “It’s not. It drops the package. You come and get your package and we can do half-hour deliveries.”

Besides being nothing more than a publicity stunt, there’s another lingering problem Bezos didn’t really mention: Quadrocopters are notoriously dangerous, renowned for slicing up enthusiasts like soy-marinated chicken breasts at Benihana.

SF Express, the massive Chinese logistics company, is also reportedly testing out its own drone delivery service, while several other companies (including Domino’s Pizza) claim to be researching drone delivery. It’s all very futuristic. And, frankly, who wouldn’t love the idea of near-instant deliveries of Domino’s Pizza and sex dolls?

But ask even the laziest hobbyist drone pilot and you’ll understand why commercial drone use isn’t even close to being legal in the U.S., and won’t be until 2015. They aren’t toys—a commercial-grade drone could easily shear off a large hunk of your nose as you eagerly attempt to intercept your drone’s delivery of Malcolm in the Middle, season 3 Blu-ray.

Drone Injuries 01 don_cocinero

Yes, yes—this is all a bit alarmist and premature. Amazon admits its drones won’t hit the skies until at least 2018. But the injuries are real, even if you don’t often hear about them. Just have a look in the gallery above: In a post titled “Quadcopters: Be Safe!!” amateur drone enthusiasts on an RC forum posted pictures of their accidents. There’s about 185 posts in total and many of the images are pretty damn graphic. (Seriously: The few pictures we selected are violent; proceed with caution.)

We all want our Amazon products immediately. We should just be careful what we wish for.

Respond Now
Post It
Add: #drones
  • They shouldn’t deliver things by truck either, have you seen what happens to people who stand in front of them?! #drones

Activists of the Right Sector movement and their supporters gather outside the parliament building to demand the immediate resignation of Internal Affairs Minister Arsen Avakov, in Kiev March 27, 2014. A prominent Ukrainian far-right activist, part of a hard-line nationalist movement that played a leading role in the overthrow of President Viktor Yanukovich, was shot dead by police overnight, authorities said on March 25. The Interior Ministry said Oleksander Muzychko, also known as Sashko Bily, was killed by officers of the 'Sokol' special unit as he tried to escape from a cafe in the western Ukrainian region of Rivne. REUTERS/Vasily Fedosenko (UKRAINE - Tags: POLITICS CIVIL UNREST TPX IMAGES OF THE DAY) - RTR3IWHV

Organizing a Right-Wing Ukrainian Militia? There’s an App for That

Rachael Levy
Russian President Vladimir Putin and his wife Lyudmila sit in front of the Taj Mahal while touring city of Agra October 4, 2000. Building on the first day of a visit aimed at rekindling Soviet-era amity, Putin told India's parliament that ties with New Delhi would remain a key element of Moscow's foreign policy. - RTXK1TW

Meet the Putins

Vocativ Staff
Shoppers walk past an advertising billboard for shoes in the central business district (CBD) of Beijing November 3, 2008. A measure of Chinese manufacturing activity showed factory output shrank sharply in October in the face of waning orders, while officials pledged further steps to boost domestic demand to keep the economy from slowing too much. Capital controls and the relative conservatism of China's banks have largely insulated the world's fourth-largest economy from direct hits from the global financial crisis, but its reliance on exports to the United States and Europe makes it vulnerable to a drop-off in Western demand.    REUTERS/David Gray    (CHINA) - RTXA6ZX

New Strike Breaks Out at China Factory That Michael Jordan Made Famous

Versha Sharma
Snoop Fancy

Living a Snoop Dogg-Curated Life

Emily Levy

Brazil’s By-The-Hour Love Hotels

Ramon Iriarte
Lionel Gonzalez (16) dreams of crossing the border and reunite with his family in Denver, Colorado. In the background dowtown El Paso

Teens Caught in Cartels’ Trafficking Crossfire

Jan-Albert Hootsen
Ana Paula Maciel Playboy 05

Greenpeace’s Brazilian Playboy Jailbird

Mac Margolis
NASA Selfies 01

NASA Spaces Out Its Social Media Orbit

Emily Levy
Join the Fray
Grounded! Teen Girl Exiled by Virginia Parents to Siberia